How to write an email

30 July, 2026 · Updated 31 July, 2026

How to write an email:

• Write email.
• Replace apology with “thanks for your patience.”
• Remove all instances of “very” and “so.”
• Delete exclamation points.
• Okay yikes, rude.
• Add half back in.
• You get one (1) smiley face so use it wisely!
• Is “cheers” weird?
• Change to “best.”

Ashley Mayer

(Formatting updated for readability and because I like lists)

https://x.com/ashleymayer/status/1465055861697499141
7:31 AM · Nov 29, 2021